by Nguyen The Hung (19-10-2008)
I was born in the Year of the Rat, the Day of the Rat, the Hour of the Rat. So my paternal grandfather got a piece of sandalwood he had hidden in the bottom of a paddy jar, while my father polished the incense burner. As the fragrant sandalwood spread throughout the house, grandfather put on his ceremonial robe and a pleated turban, then knelt to worship before the altar before opening a book full of ancient scripture and wisdom.
He counted the number of various objects present at my birth then looked up at the sky searching for the star that held my fate. When everything was completed, he went in and said to my father:
"It’s good! Your precious son was born at the lucky hour! He will be very rich one day. Unfortunately for the boy, he will have to live far from home"
His words largely dictated the course my youth was to follow.
***
My childhood was as playful as a night mouse’s. With one of my best friends, Trung, by my side, we took on all comers in childhood games. He was born the same day as I, but the difference was I saw the first light in the night, whereas he was welcomed to the world by sunshine. We were delivered by the same midwife. Then we drank the same waters from the river Ngan. At school, I always got the better of Trung.
Once in history lesson, when the teacher asked the class about wishes, I stood up immediately: "I will be a mandarin someday!" And the whole class roared with laughter.
But after that class, in my dreams I often saw myself sitting as a mandarin in judgement of the commoner Trung after he’d committed some crime or other. Time flew by and my dreams grew larger as did I. In my mind was the constant idea that I must become be a successful man of high-rank to bring glory to my family, my clan, my village.
When the village and school became too small to contain me and my desire for knowledge, Trung and I left our families for the big city to attend university-examination training classes. The day I hit the road, father gave me his old knapsack, once his constant companion through the fierce battles of the war.
"Son, this is a knapsack but we liberation fighters call it a dossier, a wise dossier. On the long road of my life, I have gathered a lot of good ideas and put them into this bag. I carried it throughout my time as a soldier. I have gathered a lot, but the dossier has never become so heavy as to bend my back. So it turns out that the more knowledge you have, the straighter your back will be. Now I want to hand it to you. Understand?"
I promised him to follow his advise even though I could not fully understand his words. My parting ceremony was filled with the tears of mother and sister. For the first time in my life I was travelling far from my home village, so I did feel a bit sad, but the bright prospect of a glittering urban life had urged me to walk that bumpy village road out.
Trung cried his eyes out, constantly looking back at the village as we walked. But I vowed, right there and then, to only return to the village for visits.
In the city, as we ate our first meal away from home, I believed that I would be successful and the city would nurture my dreams. I delved into my studies, but it seemed that my fate and Trung’s were yet to mature. We both failed the entrance university examinations that year. Trung cried like a kid.
"Oh shut up, you coward! We’ll take the exams again! Where there is a will, there is a way so stop crying now!" I yelled at him.
But Trung did not listen insisting on going home. Before the train started, he snivelled, "My family situation does not allow me... But I wish you success... "
The train-whistle was hooting and we said good-bye to each other.
Alone in the city, I started my university life; a poor life, for I only received a meagre sum from the family each month.
***
I still planned on not returning home till I was a man of success when I received a wedding invitation from Trung. Why was he marrying so young, I wondered? When I got home, the wedding was almost over. I saw some young people taking down a board with the words "Double Happiness", so I went straight to Trung’s house to congratulate him and his wife. I had to carry the bicycle above my head to cross two streams and a bumpy road before I reached his house. By the time I arrived, I was dead tired.
I saw a puppy barking noisily on the slope leading to his house. Trung and his new bride rushed to welcome me.
"We teach in the same primary school and our life is stable. This whole hill belongs to us!" Trung exclaimed with joy
I followed Trung’s gesturing hand and saw chickens huddling in the shades of the immense garden of crossed langana trees.
When the sun set, I said good-bye. Trung saw me off to the first stream, speaking about his future plans all the while. I nodded politely and said the right things but inside, I couldn’t help but think, "But your life and your children’s life will be buried in this far-flung land, Trung!"
As we parted ways, I was both sorry for and angry with him.
***
I finally graduated from the university. With my degree in hand, I was overcome with joy but nevertheless worried; thousands of unemployed young students lived in the city.
And we were all doing the same thing: buying newspapers and reading the classified columns carefully. After some time, many lost patience and returned to their home villages. But I stayed put, determined to get a job in the city. I decided to work as a tutor.
My student shocked me: he was about to sit for his final senior secondary school examinations, but he could barely pass one out of seven subjects. I had to keep his parents informed of this situation. I met his heavily made-up mother who looked at me with impassively.
"Yes, my son is a dunce," she said. "That’s why I’m paying you. But look at me; I’m rich even though I never finished my education. Besides, my son has no father... so please help him and I’ll see that you’re rewarded"
I continued on as I needed the money but sometimes it was unbearable. Whenever she was on a business trip, I stayed with her son without teaching him, because he spent his time watching films and surfing the net. After several months, the boy had made no progress.
As time went on, his mother even asked me to drive her around as she went on business. Through this, I began to understand why these people had become so rich so fast. She seemed to be passing her experiences in making money to me. It was an opportunity and I snatched it with happiness.
Then one day after class, the boy asked his mother’s permission to go to his friend’s birthday party and I saw him pulling some condoms from the drawer then darting away. I went to say good-bye to his mother in her room, but stopped short upon hearing their conversation.
"Is it because of that prankish tutor that you want to drive me away?"
"It’s up to you to think about it, but I don’t feel so sexually eager any more because my business these days has become so flat. How can I support four people in the house?"
"Then why don’t you throw that tutor out of the house. We’ve been together all these years. And that tutor is still a brat."
"No, it’s not true. He is young and strong and well educated... Look at you, what an underfed man you are!"
I rushed out to the gate right away and ran straight to the lodging house. I did not want to work as a tutor any more. I ate some bread and drank water to keep body and soul together. I wished to be with Trung now. I visualised Trung in my mind, working on his field. Then I roamed the streets aimlessly till late. Upon my return, I saw Trung preparing something for dinner and for a second, thought he was a ghost.
"When did you come here? How did you find this lodging house?" I asked
"Pure coincidence. I was looking for a lodging house, saw your knapsacks and guessed you were here!"
"So you’ve left your teaching job to work as a hired hand here in Ha Noi? I know you. You won’t last long in this city"
"It’s a long story. Let’s drink to our meeting again after seven years. Go on, drink, please. Let’s drink till we’re drunk!"
As I finished my first glass, Trung started on his third. It was both strange and familiar to me! Now Trung looked so self-confident and proper! He was so high-spirited, very different from his familiar poor-looking face.
"So... you divorced your wife?" I finally asked. "You’re quick to get fed up!"
"You’re good at things, very good at many things. but you’re wrong," Trung slurred, "It’s good to have the will-power, but you must know who you are, must know where you’re standing now!.... It’s a tragedy when you occupy the wrong place...."
The TV from the next room was showing the "Contemporary People" programme. Trung put down his glass and practically yelled at me.
"You’d better go and watch the programme to learn something. You living in this big city, but your view of the world is very shallow and narrow! Go on, go watch the show."
I reluctantly went to my neighbour’s and watched the TV. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The ‘contemporary person’ was Trung! Speaking on the small screen standing in front of a large farm. The orchard was immense with fruit-laden trees and many deer grazing leisurely in the sun, surrounded by a big flock of chickens. I was still dumbfounded when he pulled me back for more drinks.
"If you want to have a closer look, please, go back to your home village... "
"There are many ways of making a living and yours is only one of them."
Trung had a heated debate with me right after that. But I could barely hear anything. I was so homesick, I got totally and completely drunk.
In that other world we call dreams, I flew home and saw my sister rushing out to welcome me home. My mother followed with a bamboo walking stick in her hand. Mother’s hair was now snow-white – Are you that old, mum – My father was sitting on the wooden sofa. I bowed to him, but father said without looking at me – A bow is not enough. You’ve missed what’s important... Try to take stock, son. Life is so immense!
Life was so immense, so vast. Yes! Dad! I’ll learn more; I’ll grow; I’ll be a better person; I’ll change my ways! But Dad, is it possible to succeed if you’re only rich in the village...
(From Vietnam News, Translated by Manh Chuong)
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